Back to Basics - The Plan

About this event

Emotional eating isn't always the problem. Sometimes it is the solution we've learned to use for a need we haven't yet identified. In order to provide a safe and supportive environment, we ask that cameras are on during meeting. Rather than immediately fighting the urge, we can become curious about it. What is my body or mind trying to tell me? 1\. Start with the basics Before digging deeply into emotions, I'd encourage participants to check the foundations. H — Am I Hungry? Have I eaten enough today? Did I skip meals because I was busy? Have I been restricting certain foods? Am I physically hungry and calling it “emotional eating”? Sometimes the revolutionary therapeutic intervention is apparently lunch. T — Am I Tired? Sleep deprivation can affect appetite, emotional regulation, decision-making, and our ability to tolerate distress. Ask: “Do I need more discipline, or am I simply exhausted?” S — Am I Stressed? Stress doesn't necessarily mean something catastrophic happened. It can be: Work. Traffic. Caregiving. Deadlines. Finances. Relationships. Too many decisions. Too much social media. Too little downtime. We can become so accustomed to stress that we stop recognizing it as stress. C — Do I need Connection? Sometimes what feels like a craving is sitting alongside loneliness, isolation, boredom, or a desire to be comforted. Ask: “Am I hungry for food, or am I also hungry for connection?” It doesn't have to be one or the other. P — Do I need Pleasure? This one deserves a place on the list. Life cannot consist entirely of responsibilities, productivity and sensible shoes. Sometimes emotional eating becomes one of the only reliable sources of pleasure in someone's day. Instead of removing the pleasure of food, ask: “Where else can pleasure exist in my life?” Music. Nature. Creativity. Friendship. Movement. Reading. Laughter. Gardening. A bath. A hobby. Doing absolutely nothing without turning it into a wellness practice. 2\. What do I REALLY need? I love the idea of giving participants a Needs Menu. When an urge appears, they can ask: Do I need... Physical care? Food, water, sleep, movement, medication, warmth, a shower, physical comfort? Emotional care? Comfort, reassurance, permission to cry, compassion, quiet, safety? Connection? A conversation, hug, meeting, phone call, friendship, community? Relief? A break, distraction, breathing room, help, fewer responsibilities? Stimulation? Fun, creativity, novelty, music, getting outside, something to look forward to? A boundary? Do I need to say no, leave, stop answering messages, ask for help, or stop taking responsibility for something that isn't mine? Food? And importantly: Food gets to remain on the list. We're adding coping strategies, not creating another forbidden-food system. 3\. The inner critic versus the inner coach This could be a terrific group exercise. Give them a situation: “I had a difficult evening and emotionally ate.” Inner Critic “You did it again.” “You have no willpower.” “You were doing so well.” “Tomorrow you need to get back on track.” Then ask the group: How does hearing those statements make you feel? Probably not particularly inspired. Now try the Inner Coach: “Something was difficult tonight.” “Let's figure out what happened.” “Had you eaten enough?” “What were you feeling?” “What did eating provide?” “What do you need now?” Same behavior. Completely different response. The critic wants punishment. The coach wants information. 4\. Meet the self\-saboteur differently I'd actually challenge the word saboteur a little during the meeting. What if that part isn't trying to destroy our progress? What if it's trying, rather clumsily, to protect us from discomfort? For example: “Eat.” might actually mean: “I'm overwhelmed.” “Keep eating.” might mean: “I don't want to think about tomorrow.” “Let's start again Monday.” might mean: “I desperately want to feel back in control.” “I deserve this.” might mean: “I haven't done anything kind for mysel